Frequently
Asked
Questions…
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Spiritual direction is a ministry serving a person’s desire to walk in greater awareness and intimacy with God. It is an ongoing conversation between you, the director, and the Holy Spirit, and focuses on who we are rather than what we do.
An effective Spiritual Director plays a listening and supporting role that includes knowing how to discern the movements of the Spirit. They also know how to nurture trust while creating a safe environment for a person to be transparent and vulnerable with the sacred parts of their life.
The goal of spiritual direction is to cultivate a slower and intentional way of paying attention to the work of the Holy Spirit.
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Simply put, the soul is the essence of who we are. It consists of the immaterial parts of each of us: our mind, will, and emotions. It is also where God’s Spirit breathes inspiration and conviction. This can propel a person toward greater understanding of who they are and what they do.
The challenge for many is that the soul is often mysterious, vulnerable, and an elusive part of us. It is not always a team player and often prefers to stay in the shadows. Parker Palmer’s description below has been a helpful perspective as an approach to this deeper work:
“The soul is like a wild animal—tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient and yet exceedingly shy. If we want to see a wild animal, the last thing we should do is to go crashing through the woods, shouting for the creature to come out.
But if we are willing to walk quietly into the woods and sit silently for an hour or two at the base of a tree, the creature we are waiting for may well emerge, and out of the corner of an eye we will catch a glimpse of the precious wildness we seek.”
For this reason, SoulFriend is a trauma-informed and respectful approach to this unique and vulnerable soul work.
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Fee: $100 per session. *May be discounted based on a person’s need or available scholarships.
Length: Most often 60-75 minutes.
Frequency: Usually appointments are scheduled once or twice per month depending on a person’s need and availability.
Formats: Phone, Zoom or In-Person
Duration: Spiritual Direction is intended to be ongoing soul care support. I recommend committing to a minimum of 8 sessions or 6 months before making a decision about continuing.
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Sessions are typically 60-75 minutes either by phone, Zoom, or in-person.
After a brief check-in, I often invite the person to share a contemplative prayer and a few moments of silence and stillness.
Since the whole session is considered a practice of continuous prayer (listening, responding, sharing), I then invite the person to open up and share anything that has been stirring in their soul that seems timely for this session.
The person then gets to enjoy this sacred space to listen, reflect, and hear themselves verbally process what may be happening in and through their life. As I listen and pray with discernment, I may feel led to ask questions to draw out deeper reflection or insights as the Spirit leads.
As the time comes to a close, I often ask clients to take a couple minutes to reflect on what they have shared and consider any insights they feel may be timely or significant.
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Prioritizing sessions by being on time and dedicated
Preparing your heart and mind prior to sessions. This could be practicing silence, stillness, and/or reflections from our last conversation together.
Reflecting a few minutes after sessions and journaling relevant insights and recognizing movements, patterns, thoughts, and emotions.
Honoring the agreed upon payment schedule.
Communicating at least 24 hours in advance if needing to cancel or reschedule.
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What we discuss remains confidential. Only two exceptions apply:
First, I may share general aspects of conversations with my supervisor for my ongoing professional development, and to help me be accountable as a spiritual director and grow my skill.
Second, although spiritual directors are not specifically named among the list of mandatory reporters in most U.S. states, our community has made a collective ethical decision:
We choose to act as mandatory reporters as a part of our call in Christ to safeguard the vulnerable, and as a faithful response to the Church’s painful history of concealing abuse.
I believe this commitment is essential not only for the safety and well-being of those we serve, but also for the integrity and health of our communities. It also serves to protect spiritual directors—both legally and morally—from the consequences of failing to act when harm is disclosed or suspected.
Also, spiritual direction often happens within faith communities and relationship circles where we may have interactions outside of our sessions. While the content of our time together remains private and will not be discussed in other places, the fact that you are seeing me for spiritual direction or coaching will be left up to the client.
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Life Coaching is a personalized way of coming alongside a person for the purpose of discovering new insights, and taking steps to integrate life decisions with greater purpose and effectiveness.
The coaching relationship is expected to produce insights, greater personal awareness, and changed behaviors that bring desired results. The coach is a guide and workout partner, while the client is expected to engage, evaluate, reason, imagine, decide, and implement their specific course of action.
Coaching is About You – your goals, your learning, and your growth.
Coaching is About Learning – rather than teaching. You are the expert on your life. Coaching uses techniques such as active listening, open questions, encouragement, challenging a bit, and always remaining supportive. All to assist you in discovering insights and taking next steps.
Coaching is About Action – your action and growth. Each session you will determine action steps you aim to work on prior to your next session.
Coaching is About All of You – not just your work or ministry. Changing old habits and thought patterns is difficult. Your coach recognizes these patterns and will support you as you grow and change.
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Life Coaching and Spiritual Direction practices often go hand and hand.
Spiritual Direction facilitates greater awareness of being. Life Coaching facilitates greater effectiveness in doing.My approach aims to draw out and support clients as they grow in their awareness of God, self and others. This integration ultimately shapes their personal calling and vocational pursuits.